Monday, May 22, 2006

The Ride of My Life: Conclusion

If God does indeed exist, is it not fair to assume that the feeling I have described for my daughter here is similar to the feeling He has for us? Wouldn't God be willing to jump in front of a train for us? Did He? Why would his love for us be dependent on our love for Him? Is it?

St. Augustine's Confessions is one of the more influential books of all time, and it begins with a prayer. In Chapter II of Book One Augustine speaks to the presence of God throughout "heaven and earth," and states, in effect, that no container could ever contain him. He is present everywhere, at all times. When I drove to my office from the mall that day, I was not hit with a blinding presence or a bolt of lightning, I merely acknowledged that God is present, here on Earth, and in my life. It was time to stop pushing Him away. The further I drove the more I felt the truth of this acknowledgment, and I became more and more excited. I could feel layers of pride washing away. I could feel a burden lifting from my shoulders, and the relief was palpable.

Finally, I pulled into the parking lot of my office. I looked at the window of my office. I put my head in my arms on the steering wheel of my car and started to sob. My experience was quite similar to the experience described here. I cried uncontrollably for what seemed like an hour, but was probably more like a few minutes.

When I lifted my head out of my arms, I was a Christian. God had jumped in front of a train for me, and now I would accept that gift of grace and love Him in return.

On a sunny Alaska day in 1992, a tale of two architects was thus complete.

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[One year and ninety-nine posts ago, I started this project with the following statement: "I began adulthood as avowed atheist, and today, 25 years later, I have accepted that God came to this earth in human form to redeem mankind, to offer mankind the gift of salvation. The purpose of this blog is, among other things, to recount the path of these developments, and through an honest recounting, explore issues relating to such a transformation." Having accomplished the expressed purpose of this "tale," this is my last post.

I wish those who have stopped by or followed along the very best, and welcome any thoughts, comments or correspondence at pdspds@gmail.com. May God bless you and your families.]